Enneagram Type 2 – Considerate Helper
Enneagram Twos have a motivational need to be liked and appreciated. Twos value relationships and as a result kindness, generosity and self-sacrifice are important to them. Twos strive to make the world a more loving place, primarily by offering support and attention to those they care about. At their best, Twos are unconditionally supportive, able to practise self-care and offer the gift of humility to themselves and the world around them. Less-healthy Twos may seem flattering and manipulative as they ‘give to get’, motivated by a deep belief that they don’t deserve to be loved for who they are.
“People depend on me for help. I must earn the love and appreciation of others by being there for them. I am only worthwhile if I am liked and needed. I deserve love because I am loving.”
The gifts of the Enneagram Two include:
- Warm: Their demonstrative and warm nature makes it easy for others to connect with Twos and they are generally very likeable.
- Giving: Twos are caring and have the capacity to anticipate the needs of others, generously giving of themselves to others.
- People-Centered: The Two’s focus on building relationships will impact positively on their capacity to step into roles where client and people relationships matter.
- Sacrificing: To support and be there for others, Twos will put their own needs and feelings on the backburner.
- Praising: Being around complimentary, supportive Twos can make people feel very special, giving them a confidence boost.
Typical Feeling Patterns:
Others are likely to experience Twos as considerate, consistently warm-hearted, generous and friendly. Being helpful is very important to Twos. This type sits in the feeling or heart Center of the Enneagram and their feeling and emotional energy are projected externally towards others in empathic and supportive ways. Enneagram Twos have well-developed empathy and they are easily able to sense the feelings and needs of others. Although Twos are generally friendly and warm, they can surprise people with their anger when they feel that people are taking advantage or undervaluing them. Twos want to take care of and support those they see as being treated unfairly and they can be quite assertive in doing so, especially for those they love and are close to. While they struggle to ask for it, Twos also need appreciation and may experience emotional pain and anger if they are ignored, brushed aside or made to feel unappreciated.
Typical Action Patterns:
Twos value relationships and will, therefore, put effort and energy into the development of them. This enables them to establish several deep friendships and connections, drawing people to them through the expression of their generosity. Twos are likely to be generous with compliments, praise and positive feedback to people around them, as they want their people to feel special, motivated and well-treated. They often enjoy expressing their appreciation of others in their own way. Often Twos act when it is needed by others. They find it easy to give advice to people and do so freely; they will respond when someone needs a favour, advice or a helping hand. Twos will be quick to act if they sense that someone wants to harm a person they have chosen to protect.
Typical Thinking Patterns:
As Twos are very thoughtful and considerate, they are finely attuned to the needs of others, including those needs others are not even aware of themselves. Since Twos spend a lot of mental energy on connecting to the needs of others, their thoughts are likely to be filled with other people and their needs, futures or desires, while rarely centering on the Two’s own needs, future and desires. The Enneagram Two enjoys being valuable and important to people or groups and feeling indispensable connects them to a sense of pride and self-worth. This pride may be expressed as an inflated self-importance in being needed and of service to others, which may impact on interpersonal dynamics. Because Twos are very attuned to and aware of the social relationships of the people around them, they may needlessly worry about the people in their significant relationships.
- Twos may not be aware of the subconscious or hidden intention behind their generosity, caring and supportive activities. Being helpful may mask deeper motivations.
Twos may pay attention to people and then disengage quite quickly once they lose interest in them.
Their attention may become confused when Twos are trying to be helpful to more than one person with different needs.
- The Two’s focus on others may cause them not to be consistently tuned into their own needs and desires.